im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
