now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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