just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
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