i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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