Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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