Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(850): View more from Florida

I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5

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(714): View more from California

Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.

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(330): View more from Ohio

I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...

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(248): View more from Michigan

Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom

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(330): View more from Ohio

BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day

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(518): View more from New York

If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Who the fuck stole my fridge again

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident

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