doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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