North Korea, Best Korea!
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
