i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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