I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
