margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Do vagina's smell?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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