____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Fuck me I smell like cheese
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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