New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
