the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
