I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
