so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
