who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
