i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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