I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
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