This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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