Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
