I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
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