Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
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