respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
