We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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