Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
