Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
