Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
