Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize