Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
