Is it normal to miss your booty call?
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
