Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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