some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
and you fell through a lawn chair
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
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