Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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