Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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