It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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