3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
