I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I could make wine with my vomit
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
