hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
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