Are we in a gay sports bar?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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