I need help removing her.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Randomize
