The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Holy sore nipples Batman
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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