We're like a lot better than the average bears
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
