There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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