If that was your dad, he is hot
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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