Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
