Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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