you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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