Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize