her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
