i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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