great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
it's like iHOP with fire
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
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