You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize