Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
