I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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