Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i was born a porn star she said
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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