I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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