It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
