This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
