If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
