Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
