Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
