So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
