Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
my shit smells like andre
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
