I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize