Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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