It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
