Having a random hookup so left but love u
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
