Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
The dick lei will go down in squad history
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
