Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I need a beard to bite.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
last night I used snow as a chaser
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize