Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
