I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
