I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Randomize
