It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
