that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize