I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
