i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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