3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
try to milk me bitch
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
