They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize