I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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