id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize